Zupkos life

2007-05-03T15:45:00.000-04:00

Think about how you would feel if someone were to use your ideas and claim that they are their own. Does angry top the list? Does cheated feel about right? I am sorry to say that it has become commonplace across the internet and the poker world is no exception. There are a million poker sites that are popping up and what I see over and over again is the same information regurgitated for the loyals of that particular site. Where is the new content? Where is the innovation? There are thousands of untapped ideas in poker out there. Why would anyone concentrate on something that has already been done?

Those who do it over and over again say that blogs, photo galleries, news feeds etc… are commonplace on poker sites. I don’t buy that answer. On one hand they are correct but isn’t it better to bring a little originality to those same things or better yet come up with something original all together? Any idiot can redo and copy an idea or outright plagiarize content. You don’t need to be an internet genius or a web designer to do it. All you need is someone on the inside to get insight and details as to how it is being done.

I hear many times about what others are doing and think to myself “I can do that too.” But where is the fun in that? Most times the destination is not the most interesting or the most fun part of the journey. It is the journey itself. The finding, the working, even the mistakes we make along the way are what makes the end result the most satisfying. If it were easy there would be a hell of a lot more advancement in a lot more areas. Just because it's easy, does not mean it’s acceptable.

I'm not sure I understand why people do this. Maybe the stakes don't seem high enough to discourage stealing ideas and content. After all it is only poker. I also realize that people are crunched for time. It is easy to fall back and look at what has worked for others instead of opening up our minds and rolling up our sleeves to really work a project and really make it our own. Newer sites and even the older ones who are falling into the copying rut need to force themselves. Look around you…is poker right now all it ever can be? Sponsors and investors willing to come into poker right now are few and far between and until someone comes up with and acts on new ventures it will remain that way

The CEO of Starbucks, Howard Schultz said” The best ideas are those that create a new mind-set or sense a need before others do." I believe he is right on the money and the success of the Starbucks Chain says he does. While Starbucks did not create coffee, they perfected the atmosphere and leapt on the need for shops like Starbucks.
No one is flattered to have ideas stolen so the old adage “imitation is the best form of flattery” is crap. It is at best immoral and sneaky. If you cannot make your ideas work for you or do not have the wherewithal to come up with new ideas yourself, you probably need to rework what you are doing.. Notice I said the word “work.” It takes work to be creative and to make those ideas into a reality that others can relate to and join in.

This makes me think of movies and music…the original is always the best. Redoing the same thing appears just as it is … not the original. The same applies to the internet and poker… the original is always the best.

Reading Players

2007-04-20T09:53:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago on Womens Poker Hour we had an impromptu guest who was in Hold em Radios studio now located in Binions. Steve Frederick was in the studio and we decided to put him on the spot and on the air. One of the things that Steve noticed about poker players that he saw on television, which is something that got him into the game of poker, was the fact that many of the players he saw were stock brokers, traders etc… which was the same background he comes from. I did some investigating online and he was right. Many of the amateur and even some professionals started out playing with other peoples money in real life. I also noticed that many of those same players are noted for aggressive play.

This got me thinking back to college law classes and an old final paper that I worked on for months about jury selection and the Voir dire process used across the United States. When lawyers pick juries in court cases, the process is very un-politically correct. The attorneys rely heavily on behavioral stereotypes and pay very close attention to the actions of the prospective jurors before during and after the process. It is not always based on giving the “right” or “wrong” answers during the process itself. By stereotypes I do not mean age, creed or orientation. It goes well beyond the obvious “profiling” that we hear so much about these days.

One of the things I remember from doing that paper was learning how to read people through means other than yes or no answers to specific questions. Preference of career, for example, means a lot when figuring out a persons personality. Most people who work with in the “helping” industries such as social workers, teachers and therapists, have the tendency to be more nurturing and caring. For a prosecution they are the most likely to have sympathy for a defendants background and the mitigating circumstances that lead to a crime. In civil cases they are the most likely to return large settlements to injured plaintiffs as they like to see justice done. Mostly people of this nature sit openly. They are normally engaged in conversation and are easy to approach. They are probably clean and well dressed, though not neurotic about polished shoes and every hair in its place.

The opposite is generally true of people in upper management positions in big business. Their dress is immaculate and perfectly put together. They are most likely reading the business section or business magazines. They are not normally easy to engage in conversation. In civil cases they hold their purses close to their chests. In criminal cases they can be the states best friend and the defendants worst enemy. They tend to see things in black and white and pay very close attention to detail and facts many times ignoring any factors along the way.
These are two basic and very opposite personalities. There are many “personality” types in between these two and all fit into a general mold but in order to go that deep, I would have to write another 35 page paper and I am way too old to work that hard. So, for clarity's sake, I described these two extremes. The challenge, however, is to know what to look for, identify the clues and then put them together into a logical picture which can reflect your opponents psychological patterns.
How does this fit into poker? In every conceivable way. Poker is reading people. Poker players rely on knowing quickly and based on very little fact how a person will approach the game. Knowing how each of these personalities will play poker is key in knowing what to do and when to do it. The first personality is most likely to play for social reasons versus being hardcore poker students. They most likely will not take the game as seriously as others do. The opposite of the second personality it probably true. They are serious about poker. They study poker and learn all they can. They will most likely play tighter with their chips and not give you much opportunity to take them.
This can only give you a hit to a persons playing style. There are no concrete facts. There is no black and white when it comes to psychological profiles only probabilities. Furthermore, people can project contrary information about themselves. But any information you can get out of other players can be weighed to get some good insight into how they might play and react in certain situations. To most people men are just men but to the poker player every movement, every word is a potential clue to their style and the cards in their hand. One of the professionals that I talked to said that she talks to other players throughout events when she gets a chance. She does this so she can get some insight should she meet them at the table later in the tournament.
Most important, the body never lies. We might read it incorrectly, but the answers are always there. If a contradiction exists between what a person says verbally and what that person's body language says visually, trust the body language. The bottom line: The body talks and it talks loudly. If we listen and pay attention imagine the winning edge we have on the felt.

PPA Webcast with Senator D'Amato

2007-04-13T13:40:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Woman Poker Player was invited to listen in to the Webcast with Poker Player Alliance Senator Al D'Amato and the president of the PPA Michael Bolcerek. There were some great points made that are the basis of the PPA and could help bring poker back to the internet legally and make playing online poker in the US easier for all that enjoy the game.

1. The Unlawful Internet Gaming Enforcement Act of 2006 was literally passed in the middle of the night and was never open to debate or consideration. The Act was added to a bill to safeguard US ports from terrorist attacks. The bill itself was important to pass. The addition of the the UIGE was a sneaky attempt by some of our elected representatives to create the beginnings of internet gambling prohibition.

2. The law excludes Horse racing, state lotteries and betting on fantasy sports. Poker players are being discriminated against by the government.

3. Legitimate poker sites are being chased out of the US to be replaced by more unscrupulous poker outlets coming in.

4. One of the issues being brought up in the debate of online poker is that teenagers have easier access. If the US can regulate online poker there is plenty of technology to prohibit teenagers and minors from having attmittance to the online sites. Senator D'Amato used prohibition as an example. When prohibition was in effect people found alcohol anyway. It opened up underground clubs, dangerous conditions, people were drinking anything including poisonous substances.

5. The US is losing over $3 billion in revenue. Many of the online poker rooms have agreed that they would pay US taxes if they were able to do business in the US.

6. The UK and other countries are supervising the online poker rooms. There is no reason why the US cannot do the same.

7. The United States has already been found in breach of the trade accords set by the WTO for keeping other countries from competing with the US. If the US continues to take this stance on online gambling there are likely to be more sanctions.

8. Many diabled and senior citizens enjoy the sport of poker. Many do not have the means to go to legal land based poker rooms. They are being discriminated against by the UIGE.

The PPA and Senator D'Amato encourage all poker players to continue writing their elected officials. Remember, we elected them, we dont have to do it again.

You can hear more about the conference at the Poker Players Allianc website

The Heart of Poker

2007-04-10T21:46:00.000-04:00

I remember the first real professional poker interview I did. It was with Annie Duke. Her enthusiasm for poker was like none that I had ever heard. I actually had goose bumps when she was telling me about the game and the reasons why she plays. I knew that there is nothing else in this world that she would rather be doing. There seemed to be no substitute for what she was doing right then and there which was playing poker. The following interviewees mimicked this same excitement. From Annie to Liz Lieu there is not one of those women in between who can see themselves not involved in the game in one form or another. It is beyond an enthusiasm. It is a passion.

I have always wondered what made professional players professionals, not just fly by nights who win a tournament and no one ever hears of them again, but true professionals. It finally hit me…the answer is heart. Annie Duke, Phil Helmuth, Doyle Brunson, Jennifer Harman. They all have one trait in common they have the heart of a poker player. Let’s face it. Life on the felt cannot be an easy one. One of my favorite pictures of Liz Lieu is of her sitting on a suitcase. To me it personified the poker life. If you ask any of them; the answer would be that they would want it no other way. Isabelle Mercier lives out of her suitcase and loves it. So the lifestyle is not all the glitz and glamour that you see on TV and in pictures. There is only one thing that can keep these men and women playing and living that lifestyle…heart.

My feeling is that the repeated success that these players have is due to their love of poker. No one attracts success more than someone who is doing what they love to do. Watch Kathy Liebert play poker sometime. Her eyes sparkle. You can tell she is doing what she loves to do and there is no substitution. Talk to Jennifer Tilly. She is just so excited and full of life. She has chosen her path and makes no excuses.

Any one can study and anyone can work hard. Anyone can play poker and even win at it but not everyone can be a true poker player. Heart is not something you can learn; it is not something you can find in any book about poker or about life. It is something that is way down deep. It is buried beneath the soul and is not always apparent. Think about the times that you are the happiest. The times that you knew that you were in your element and on top of the world.

For me it was when I have been in Vegas and in Atlantic City with Women’s Poker Club and with Woman Poker Player. And if I am really honest with myself…poker was a large part of it but not the center. It was the organizing and the interacting with other players who share the game of poker. It was watching the final table of the Women’s UPC event and knowing that in a small way I was partially responsible for them being there. That my contributions to WPC, WPP and to Maryann made all of that possible. I was in my element socializing, bridging gaps and motivating the amazing women of poker to share and to play and for all of them to know that I was there to support them.

It is a well known fact that the happiest people are those that get paid for what they love to do. But I don’t think that waiting to get paid is the answer. You might never get paid. But if you put off what you love to do, you might go through your entire life with out ever experiencing the astonishing feeling that comes with doing what you truly love.

Poker and the Bad Beat

2007-04-07T09:33:00.000-04:00

The other day in WPC a friend came in and said she was having trouble against the bad beats of poker. It is one of the larger holes in my game and one of the things I have been working on. I have a tendency to take a bad beat out on myself. Once I take a beat for a large amount of chips; I lie down and play dead. Instead of working to make my stack larger, I play super tight, afraid it might happen again. I have also tried the other extreme and raised with marginal hands against the offender who delivered the bad beat, only to find that THIS time he had a legitimate hand. Either way it ended with little to no satisfaction.

Through the free rolls I have been playing I have seen and been involved in bad beats. Some would curl the hair in your nose just to watch. I have learned a little though both about myself and about how to handle the beats and scars that can be had. I tend to take the beats personally. I feel that there is something wrong with my game when I get beat like that. I always wonder, “What is it about my game that would make that player call or raise against me and think he could get away with it.” “What clues did I give the table that would make them think they had any advantage in calling my raise with 10, 3 off suite?” I would rack my brain looking for answers that were never there to begin with. Then I would go on to how unfair the beat was, sometimes blaming the software but mostly blaming myself.

The truth is that while I do have some issues with my game, playing loose is definitely not one of them. My image at the table is generally that of a tight player. Someone calling my large raises is either an idiot or looking to get lucky and I would imagine in many cases both would apply.

I try not to get bogged down in the unfairness of it all. If it is a bad beat, well, that it is just that and I have to deal with it. Contemplating shrewd play or idiocy on the part of the other player does nothing to help the fact that I was beat. I will sometimes note and review the hand later to see if it could have been avoided on my part. But for the time being, I move on. I know in my personal life, I hate dwelling on what is wrong or unfair. I see no reason why it should be any different in poker.

Women's Poker. Abuse at the Tables.

2007-04-03T08:45:00.000-04:00

Life on the felt can be tough, especially on women. There are always men (and I hate to admit other women) who are perfectly willing to berate another player for what they deem as bad play. It seems to happen to perfectly nice people who may have made a stupid play or made a good play that caused another to lose their chips. I have witnessed the abuse, mostly online but also in some live events but to date have only had that happen twice. Once was online and due to a smart-alec comeback on my part ended up being quite good friends with the man who thought he could get away with rather rudely criticizing my play. The other was a “rule” that I was adamant about and I was right.

So what is the difference between those who are continuously assaulted at the tables and people like me? The only answer I can come up with is boundaries. I have very strict boundaries about how I am to be treated both in my personal life and in my poker life. I don’t inform people before I sit down about those boundaries, but it is understood. I think it is in the way I carry myself and the way I conduct myself at the tables. I am not above some smack talk or general chat. I love it. But there is a line between talking smack and out right abuse. Look at the difference between Daniel Negreanu and Phil Helmuth. Daniel talks smack. I love to watch the chitter-chatter and good natured back and forth between him and the other players. You can take him quite seriously but it is done in a superior manner. Phil on the other hand can be outright insulting and vicious. I see the same things in Tony G. Seeing the attention they get from the media gives newer and some seasoned players the idea that acting like an idiot is acceptable. Women, because we are the “weaker” sex and newer to the game, seem to get more of it than men.

Protect yourself at the tables. Don’t allow anyone to yell at you or treat you as if you don’t deserve to sit at a poker table. There are ways to handle this abuse and ways not to handle it. My reaction has always been to give a wise comment. But my suggestion is not to try this if you don’t have that type of personality. In some sarcasm comes across as hostile and in bad taste and can aggravate the situation further versus fix it. You need to be prepared to take a further bashing.

In live play, calmly tell them they are out of line. CALMLY is the operative word here. Look them directly in the eye and say with no inflection whatsoever in your voice: “You are out of line. Do not speak to me that way.” Don’t let the anger you feel get the better of you. If you can keep your voice neutral there is not much the other person can do except stop the offensive behavior.

Of course there are always players who will ignore you and press on with the issue. Keep that same calm voice and let them know that if they have something constructive to add to your game to please talk to you after the game is over. You would love to learn more about poker from other players’ perspectives. Even the die hard Phils will give up at this point. Everyone loves to have their opinions heard. In general most people know that they are doing a number on you and they really aren’t sure they will get away with it. When you bite you not only diminish yourself but you diminish them. It is a no win situation. By suggesting that you would take their advice puts you both in a better light and makes for a better game. Don’t just tell them you will talk to you after the game. Actually talk to them. You never know…you might just learn something new.

If it still continues, tell the dealer to get the tournament director or poker room manager. Let them deal with the insulting player.

Doing things calmly and rationally does more than stop the abuse. It gains respect from not only the insulting player but from the other players as well. Others will look at you differently as a person and a poker player.

The All In Urgency

2007-03-20T22:53:00.000-04:00

I have started working in earnest on my poker game. I am starting from scratch. Back to basics…this unfortunately means back to freerolls. UGH. I know it is a horrible thought. I haven’t played in a freeroll in years besides with WPC. They make me crazy. But I figure if I am going to start fresh then I need to start at the beginning. My beginnings in poker were occupied with free rolls. It didn’t kill me but you would be amazed at what you can live through.

I have to admit that I was not struck by lightening and my game didn’t come to life in two games. But…I did manage to figure one thing out. The all in mentality. I could never quite come up with the reasoning behind going all in or huge raises so early in a game. In most cases someone who starts out that way fades quickly and they are lucky if they see the first break never mind coming close to the money (or in this case points.)

Today it hit me. I finally get it. It’s urgency. It’s the need to accomplish everything at record speed. Knowing what we do about human nature, especially in the fast paced world that we live in, it is natural for us to want everything done and done quickly. Poker is no different for some. Most of us are happy to gain our chips in the traditional fashion using skill and knowledge. The all in needs the adrenaline rush. They need the excitement and energy. All in brings instant results and instant gratification. The all in provides those who employ it with a temporary high.

Urgency is an almost like an addiction. In certain aspects of my life I am a junkie myself. I just never let it anywhere near a poker table. It has no place there and it enforces bad play and a downward spiral when it is no longer effective.

Through the urgency issue comes the bigger issue: control. I know at live events I have met people who I knew instinctively were all in fanatics. I just could never put my finger on why. I could not figure out what it was about their personality that gave me clues to that style of play. It hit me today. Urgency and control. Players at a poker table are unpredictable. Their play is not easy to control. The all in personality cannot handle that part of poker. It is easier for them to go all in before the flop and be able to control at least that part of the game. There is no post flop play. There is nothing that adversaries can do to combat them after the flop.

We all know this is a self destructive path in our everyday lives. It has no less an impact on the poker tables.

Time to Play Poker

2007-03-18T23:46:00.000-04:00

Well, I have cleaned out the closet; I have worked on my list of little annoyances and have managed to get it down to very few. Those that are left there is not much I can do about them except learn to manage them a bit better. Now it is down to fixing my poker game. There are some big holes in there and boy do they need fixing.

It has been a long time since I believed that stupidity is a virtue at the poker table. My game has gone well beyond that...but lately the results are not much different. I am not winning...I am not succeeding in what should be "old hat" by now. Stupidity of the all in is starting to become an appealing diversion.

I decided to first start with a list of what is wrong with my game…maybe in writing it down a bolt of lightening will strike and something will make sense. Then again maybe I will make my list and work by reading and practicing and my game will at the very least improve.

Inertia:

Bad Beats:

Making Assumptions but failing to test them for accuracy:

Being Right:

Strategy:

I am sure there are more than just these five issues. But these are the biggies. I am tired of witnessing my own dismemberment at the tables. No more whining about bad luck and bad timing. Time to get my proverbial act together and start playing poker.

The Women's Poker Movement

2007-03-16T11:37:00.000-04:00

Right now the “women’s’ industry” has very little to do with giving us the “tools” that we need to play poker. It has become unfocused, lazy and gimmicky and above all marketable. We are sold women’s only events in the same manner that you are sold everything else. We are being told that just because we are women and are so wonderful that we cannot help but be successful in poker. We are paying dearly in more ways than one.

Instead of stripping away our excuses we are provided with a whole new set of excuses not to play and not to succeed. The result is more distractions and more problems. We hear about the numbers in the WSOP main event and right away the excuse for not succeeding is there. Because of the number of women it is very unlikely that one of us can succeed….so why bother. Last night Susie Isaacs said on Women’s Poker Hour that she plays one table at a time. She plays the nine players seated at her table and when she is moved she plays THOSE nine players, not 7000. That increases our odds drastically. The odds are not 300 out of 7000 but one out of ten. I prefer those odds and plan to look at each and every tournament that way from now on. (Thanks for the advice Susie!)

We are being told that we need a ranking system for women. No we don’t. We need women to be treated as everyone else is. It goes right back to the bashing that Annie Duke and Tanya Peck took for giving their reasons for not playing in women’s only events. We are right back where we started. We are back to segregating ourselves and being not taken seriously as if we cannot play with the big dogs. We can and do play with the big dogs and we can do it well with the right mix of knowledge and strategy. Not just because we are women.

We are being sold women’s only events with higher buy ins as though those are the only events that matter…bigger buy ins. That is not true. Not by a long shot. By the time a woman is able to play bigger buy ins she should be playing in mixed events. I resent women’s only events being treated as the be all end all to poker for us. They are not. Also on Women’s Poker Hour Maryann Morrison said they should be used as a stepping stone and I agree whole heartedly. The structures that we are handed are awful…the idea being to get us in and get us out so the “real” players can play. Women need to be on the radar. We need to be public and we need to be seen. By moving ourselves out of the mainstream we taking ourselves out of the spotlight and back into the kitchen while the “boys” play poker.

I am not a big believer in “separate but equal.” History tells us that it fails miserably. If we are to be equal than we need to be seen as such and separation is not the way to go about it. Those with the experience and the bankrolls need to be present and accounted for at the larger tournaments. Those without the experience need to gain it and work their way up as their skill and understanding allows. If that is in women’s only events so be it. We all start somewhere and most women start in those events to get started and many continue to play in them while they grow into poker players in their own right.

We can learn a lot from the pioneers in poker. Barbara Enright, Susie Isaacs, Linda Johnson and the other women who paved and are still paving our way into poker. They did not get strapped into a cockpit and launched into poker. They started small, they worked and read and studied to make their games better. They prevailed through blind luck and trial and error until they got it right. We are fortunate to have the positive role models that we do. Instead of skyrocketing women into poker we need to take a step back…maybe more than a step.

Do we still need women’s only events? Of course we do. Thank goodness they exist. Without them we would still be stuck in the 70’s and dark back rooms with cigars and women frowned upon. Will we always need Women’s only events? I think so. There will always be new women coming into poker. We will always need forums and magazines and books that cater to women. They give us support. They give us skills and the “inside scoop” to the world of poker. I don’t want to demean everything that pertains to women in poker. There are some very useful tools out there. I just feel that creating a sub-world of poker is going in the opposite direction.

Womens Poker Hour

2007-03-12T13:24:00.000-04:00

Just before I went to Las Vegas Maryann asked if I would still do a show on
Hold Em Radio We had worked on it a bit late last year but I could not get my work schedule to cooperate. Our debut show was on Monday, February 26 2007 at 7:30 pm EST. It was a great show...or I thought so anyway. Our guest was Valerie Wade, the woman who won our UPC event at Binions. I was very nervous about doing this. I used to work in radio but my on air presence was limited to a few voice overs when they were desperate.

For our second show Maryann got Barbar Enright who is not only the editor of Woman Poker Player but also the first and to date only woman to see a final table at the WSOP Main Event. There is much speculation that if it were not for the bad beat she took in that tournament she had a better than average chance of being the only woman to ever win a WSOP Main Event Championship. Barbara was a great guest and I was very honored to have her and her experience on the show.

Last week a great woman poker player and great friend, Liz Lieu fought her jet lag (she was just back that day from playing the Party Poker League in the UK.) She had some super stories and was a natural on the air.

This week we are looking forward to having Susie Isaacs on the show. I am a long time fan of Susie's and her endeavors to support and encourage women in the poker field. Susie also has her own show on Hold Em Radio Broad Minded Poker It will be nice to hear from Susie about poker and her ideas when we can place the focus on her.

Next week we will hear from an up and coming professional Michele Lewis. Michele cashed in three WSOP events last year and I expect great things from her in the next WSOP.

Business Women in a Business World

2007-03-11T08:42:00.000-04:00

My feelings have always been to see more and more women involved in business and sharing in what is viewed as a man’s world. My first thought when I talk to a woman in a high profile high power job is “more power to her” and “good for her, I hope she makes all her dreams come true.” I have become more and more involved in the poker world and the more I delve deeper the more I see things that I am not overly impressed with. There is no doubt that the poker business is just that… a business. I am not sure why I expect anything more. I can tell you my visions of women in the poker world all working toward a common good has pretty much been shattered. I was never so naïve in thinking that everyone would get along all the time and that there would never be mashing of heads and opinions. That is beyond reason but power and money to strange things to people and women are no exception.

I interviewed Isabelle Mercier for the November/December issue of Woman Poker Player Magazine. One of the things she said in the interview when I asked her about women in poker was that “As women, we have the desire to be the only queen in our world. It’s the 'I want to be first' attitude. Women just have that. I sometimes see new women come into poker and see a lot of attitude and it really shouldn’t be that way." At the time I don’t think I got the full meaning of what she said. I mean I know that attitude and probably in some capacity I have the same stance in specific areas of my life. I can tell you though that I never entertained the idea of being the martyr and doing everything alone.

What is it about power that turns normally sane women into feared bullies whose morals and principles should be questioned? I know it is not EVERY woman in a power position who acts and reacts in the same fashion I have talked to many who are great women and are doing great things in the industry. It seems to come from those who are given a little power and a little success. It seems that in order to get more these women feel they need to step on others or worse yet to use them and their ideas. It reminds me of movies where there is always a sleazy business man trying to get the big score.

Traditionally men see women as gossip mongers who have nothing better to do than chat about this person and that person and think that any woman who has more is a bitch or a liar or both. This is what men picture when they see us sit at the tables. Why would we take the uglier sides of those perceptions of women and turn them into a reality when we get to the right places and the right positions? I just don’t get it. I would think that the women in these positions did not get there by acting this way so why would anyone even think it is becoming to act this way when we finally do get the power to make some major changes and work toward making things better?

What is wrong with my rose colored glass vision of making poker and making lives of other women more fruitful along with our own? What is wrong with making a trail of friendships that guide and facilitate the bumps and bruises of our own paths? And why is it when a woman supports another in her endeavors; backs are turned and favors never appreciated or even acknowledged? Do we really have that narrow minds or forget that easily that there were others on our paths to success who stood by us and supported what we do and the goal that we strived to attain?

Is it money? Is it the ability to boast and brag? Is the power to belittle another one of our own as lower than we are? I seem to have more questions than answers. But one thing I do know is that the impact is much greater when we are able to hold hands high together and say “Look what we did” versus one hand saying “Look what I did.”

Cleaning out the Closet

2007-03-10T12:21:00.000-05:00

This might not really have much to do with poker…well I think it does indirectly. One of my biggest faults in life and in poker is lack of focus. I always have a zillion things going through my head all at once. There are many ways in which it helps me. I mean I can multitask like you wouldn’t believe. I can think about more things and do more things at the same time than most people can do and think about all day. I never really thought of it as a weakness until the last few months. I don’t want to lose my abilities to multi task and to be able to work multiple problems/scenarios in my head. In some ways I will always have to do that. I have kids, a job and I play poker and I write and help organize things for WPC and Woman Poker Player. So I cannot ever lose that ability totally. But lately it keeps me up at night and seems to drain all of my energy. My lack focus at a poker table, when I write, and when it comes time to work I feel is hurting me.

Years ago I picked up one of those self help books about becoming successful in life and in business. I don’t even remember the circumstances that surrounded why I bought it. I read a lot but self help books have never been my genre of choice. Anyway to make a long story short in the beginning of this book one of the tips to personal success is to do away with petty annoyances. They drain you of energy and take away your focus. At the time I ignored the advice. I had plenty of energy and had no problem with completing tasks……on time. Ok, I’ll admit I have become very lax in the deadline department and my focus on projects in and out of poker has become a bit out of my control.

I am a big fan of Liz Lieu and one of her strengths and one of the things I admire the most about her is her ability to keep business, poker and the fun side of her life completely separate and her ability to focus completely on the task at hand. I don’t think I will be able to ever do that completely but there is definitely room for improvement. When I first approached her about the subject she said it is something she just does. She does not have time to deal with things later so if she sees a problem she deals with it now. Thinking about this conversation brought me to think about myself and brought me back to that book which was either given away or long burried in a box somewhere.

That book suggested that I make a list of things that are just plain annoying. A coat that no longer fits that should be given away or taken to the Salvation Army, replacing the hooks in my kitchen among a list of 89 other things that need some sort of attention. Then there is the biggie……..my closet. I have just put stuff in that closet since the day we moved in and only had the courage to actually look at some of the stuff once in the last two years. That closet is definitely an energy drainer. It is now to the point where we have to push real hard on the door just to make it shut all the way. Every time I walk past that closet I think about cleaning it out. I just never actually do it. I don’t even know why. Like I said, major energy drainer. Well, today I am cleaning out the closet. What is in there I apparently no longer need or I would have looked for it well before today.

The rest of my list will be worked on little by little until there are fewer demands on my time and focus. I say fewer because in my house no demands is not only unheard of but impossible. They will always be there and in ways I thank God that they are. No worries and no change would be just plain boring. But I can limit my stress and improve in other areas by focusing on what needs to be done at the moment and leaving my thoughts clear to work, play and even sleep with out small petty annoyances weighing on my mind.

So what does that have to do with women in poker? More than you might think. More than poker players, we are women and our personal lives have a way of creeping into our poker lives to steal the glory of winning and succeeding. There are so many of us that have multitudes of distractions. We all have little things that weigh on our minds like that closet. The closet itself is just that ….. a closet. It, on its face, holds no character, no grasp on me or my lifestyle. The closet represents more. It represents letting go of old habits and moving forward. It represents the end of drains on energy and on focus. I think it will be an amazing feeling to be free of small things that hold me back and to move forward on and off the poker tables.

Women Playing Poker....Where are they?

2007-02-26T23:47:00.000-05:00

I have been playing poker online since about 2001 and playing live for just about as long. I dont have the luxury of living near a casino so my live play is very limited and subject to budget, time, work and kids schedules. I make it to Atlantic City at least twice a year and try to get to Foxwoods at least once. AC is a bit easier as I have family in Jersey and can hustle up a grand parent as a baby sitter for a day or two. Foxwoods is closer but my daughter is a little young to just drop at the neighbors house for a whole day. More often I get to the dog track about an hour away and play a week end tournament if I can.

Here is what is surprising. There are very few women who play in the live tournaments and even less at the cash tables. According to what I have experienced and what I have read, about 1/3-1/2 of online players are women. Where are they when I get to the casinos? I have met women standing at the rails and asked if they were playing. The conversations sound very much the same each time. "No, I'm not ready to play live yet." or "No, I'm just learning to play." or "No, maybe I'll play a little later; right now I am going to hit the slots/blackjack." And no matter how many times I hear those answers I am still surprised.

I have asked countless women why they are not playing. I have asked women that I know and women that I don’t know what makes them fearful of the live tournaments. I am always met with the same answers. “I just don’t have the time to go and play.” “I don’t live near a casino.” “I am too nervous to play at the live events.” I know the answers, I just don’t understand the why part.

I know most women have busy and hectic lives. I have one myself. We have families, careers. We are college students and have lives outside of poker. I can understand that 100 % but don’t men face those same challenges as women do? Don’t they have the same commitments? The same issues outside of poker as we do? Then why can men find the time to play?

There are just as many men who live away from casinos and I would imagine those who don’t have ready access to a poker room don’t play live very often. But what about those women who DO live near a casino? I cannot believe that that many women do not have access to a poker room of some sort.

Afraid to play? That is not an answer it is an excuse. I don’t understand why those same women would put their money up against the house on a slot machine yet not wager their money on their own skills and intelligence. I’ll bet on myself any day before I wander into a Bingo hall or put one hard earned dollar on a roulette wheel.

Ladies, trust me you can do this. There is nothing to it. You buy in and sit and play poker. What is the worse that can happen? You go out first? There is no shame in going out first, going out on the bubble or anywhere in between. It doesn’t mean you can’t play poker it just means that you went out first. That is all. No one is going to think any better or worse of you or your poker skills. It happens to the best players and it happens to the worst. You just pick yourself up and try again. Like anything else you will ever try or do. Do we not start a new job or take a promotion because we are nervous? Of course not. We get over it and do what we need to do to make a living. Poker is the same. We just get over the butterflies and give it a try.

Just jumping into a mixed game might not be the answer. I myslef started in womens only events then gradually went to mixed events. The mixed events are no tougher than women's only events. No womens' only events in your area? Then talk to a poker room about starting one. And if that doesn't work. Just play the mixed events. Im not talking about jumping into a $3k buy in or even a $200 buy in event. Most casinos and card rooms offer small buy ins between $20 and $60. You can buy onto a cash table for $20.

The US is cracking down on us hard. Many are afraid to deposit to online sites. There is only one other place to take our game...onto the felt.

2007-02-23T07:18:00.000-05:00

Ok, now I am Angry

The other day on WPC there was a post about an episode of ER in which they portrayed a woman poker player as a loser and degenerate who ended up so far in debt she killed herself so her children could have the insurance money.

First, how dare they portray women who play poker in this manner?! This is not who the majority of us are. Most of us have families, jobs, careers. We are stay at home moms, college students, grandmothers, daughters and everything in between. We come from different countries. And we bond over a simple game. That is who the real women of poker are. We are successful women (regardless of what we do for a living) who manage our time and our money to be able to have it all. Most of us live with in our means so we can play poker take care of our families and ourselves just as any woman with a hobby or interests does. I, personally, probably spend less money per month on poker than my friend does on her gardening hobby.

Second, women did not have it easy getting into poker. It has always been a male dominated game and it took a long time for us to be accepted by the poker community. We are still struggling to stay in it and play with out sexist remarks, rude comments and remarks about how we play. I resent the hell out of the media and television giving us one more hurdle to conquer just to play poker.

Third, I see no one trying to show the good that poker can bring for women. Not just at the tables and not just monetary. I have seen women who learned to play poker just to play and got much more out of it than just poker skills. They gained confidence in themselves. They gained the ability to see themselves from a different view point. Poker requires reading people and to do that you have to look at yourself first. New players to the game and seasoned professionals spend much time learning as much about themselves as they do about the other players. It is part of the game.

Fourth, there is a social aspect to poker that is evident in very few places other than a poker table. I have many friends that do not play poker. We have normal friendships in which we spend time together, we support eachother and we have children, jobs, and personalities in common. I find the same with the women I have met online and in person playing poker. In the years I have been involved in poker I have met many women who dont have the outside support of family and friends that I do. These women found those same things in forums and in poker rooms all over the world. How can any one dare say that we close ourselves off from the rest of the world........in my opinion we open ourselves up.

If it is money and going broke that the media is worried about.....portraying women poker players this way is not the answer. Read any poker magazine, book etc... and there is always at least one section about managing money and playing with in your means. There is not one professional player that I have met or interviewed that didn't advocate staying with in what you can afford to play with.

Don't tell me what is good for me in a TV show or how poker is sure to bring me to at the very minimum financial ruin. It is not accurate and it just pisses me off. I am an intellegent woman; most women who play are. There is some type of intellegence and skill necessary to play poker.

Don't call my home in the pretense of getting a real picture of what women in poker are really like and then ask me whether or not I spend time with my kids or play poker all day. Or whether I have taken out second, third mortgages on my home to play poker. (This has not happened to me but it has happened to others that I know).

Try looking at the other side of poker. For me poker has been and continues to be a series of great experiences. I have been writing since I was a kid. I am now writing for a magazine, been published in a book, have a blog and write and research daily for WPC. This is due to poker. Many women's careers have skyrocketed due to the opportunities that poker created for them. So many have started small businesses, work with online casinos and land based casinos. Hell, the VP of the Wold Poker Tour is a woman. She came from a sucessful business background but poker gave her the opportunity to be more and get more out of her career and her life. Another woman made a decent living making jewelry, she has now gone from small online sales to creating and manufacturing her jewelry and selling to a huge market.

My final comment.......yes, there are some women (and men) who let poker take over their lives but it is not necessarily about poker itself. If not poker it would have been something else. An over abundance of ANYTHING is not good for you.

2007-02-13T10:00:00.000-05:00

Vegas!!!

They say “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” and now I know why. While there were many things that will be fond memories of my first visit not all of it should be shared. In other words there was drinking and gambling and some things that I couldn’t explain why or how they happened. Like how we ended an evening with one of us riding a mechanical bull at some ungodly hour of the morning BUT, there is a ton of stuff that should not remain in Vegas.

I started out my trip in Albany, NY at 7:30 AM which meant I had to get up at 4:00 AM. Yes, as in morning. I am normally up and about by 6 or so, but fit for people? Not on your life. My kids and husband don’t even talk to me when I get up with out at minimum a snarl. I haven’t bit anyone yet but I’m sure I have threatened to. Now I had to play nice nice with the baggage handlers who literally lifted my check in baggage five foot in the air and dropped it on the conveyor belt as well as the evil security people who invade my space. Not that I am opposed to security in airports, I think right now they serve an invaluable service to the safety to our country but standing in line and having to exploit all of my belongings at 6:00AM is NEVER on my list of things to do.

My plane landed in Philadelphia where I had a three hour layover. Now I had a problem. I am a smoker and I wanted a cigarette. I wanted one NOW. I mean like right NOW. Lighters are no longer allowed in baggage. This presented a huge problem. Finally I managed to get myself out of the airport which was no easy task by itself, locate a lighter and regale in the smoke. In the mean time I call my friend Judy. We had by coincidence ended up on the same flight out of Philadelphia. She told me she was on her way. I don’t know about you but when someone says they are on their way I always think they are actually driving. Not Judy. Judy was sitting in her car in her DRIVEWAY. We finally meet in the airport and head off grab a bite to eat. After lunch we just strolled to the gate and stand behind three other people for a few seconds. At which point we hear them giving away two seats to stand by passengers. Those were OUR seats. In our lack of haste we neglected to realize that our flight was boarded and ready to leave the gate!!! Luckily we made it and off we went!!!

The flight itself held little action and little event. Which I guess is a good thing. I found my car right away and off we went to get the luggage or lack there of. Yup, you guessed it. No luggage. Now this presents a problem. You have to remember, we are on our way to an event that is sponsored by Woman Poker Player as well as our annual WPC Showdown. This means we are responsible to bring some of the stuff with us. So in my luggage were also poker pins for WPC members, plates cups etc… for our meet n greet as well as 300 chocolates (ok, so it was more like 290…I couldn’t help it) for the UPC event. The luggage people have no clue but said that IF they found it they would forward it to the hotel. We get to the hotel and now they cannot find my room. HUH?? I was tired, I was cranky and my ass was numb from sitting for so long, and now I had no room. I will say however Binions’ staff came to the rescue for the first time but certainly not the last time and fixed it fairly quickly.

The meet and greet was kind of short but went well. It was nice to be able to put faces with the people that I have talked to for so long via forums and email.

Off we go to try our luck at the tables in a satellite to the UPC. I had a great time BUT…….with all my distractions my appearance at the table was short and sweet to say the least. While disappointing it was not the end of the world at the time. I really wanted to talk to the members and catch up with everyone. More importantly I wanted to find my freaking underwear and my chocolate. Finally I gave up and went to the room. Though not before several drinks with the ladies and lots of laughs (these are many of the things that should stay in Vegas!)

Day two brought more poker and more new friendships. I met so many women from all walks of life it was incredible. Satellites ran most of the day. I played in the super satellite with about the same results as the single table satellite. The good thing of day two in Vegas was that my luggage arrived. YESSSS!!! I had clean underwear and CHOCOLATE!!! The first thing I did after my caffeine fix was to check the desk for my bags. And sure enough it was there. A big thump on the head to Philadelphia Airport and a big thanks to the Binions’ staff AGAIN for helping me out and putting up with me!!

The magazines arrived about a half hour before tournament time so it was a bit of a rush to get them out but out they went and seemed to be well received by the ladies. At 4:00 PM on Friday, February 8, 2007 Woman Poker Player Magazine sponsored its first televised women’s only tournament. I cannot explain the feeling when the tournament manager announced “Shuffle up and Deal!” The tournament itself yielded more than expected, by me anyway. We had 201 women and a 40000.00 prize pool.

I hear many men and even some women say that women’s only events are a social gathering and poor play. I beg to differ. The play was exceptional. There were the occasional bad beats and the occasional disagreements on how hands should be played. But that is what poker is about. If we all played the same top ten starting hands there would be very little to hold anyone’s’ attention for very long. Was it a social gathering? Well there was a lot of that too but not about what most men think it’s about. It was about poker and analyzing hands not what you find at your local tea party. Finally the end of the night came and the final 7 were left. Two friends of mine made the televised table. I cannot tell you how proud I am of both of them. Congratulations to them both!!!!

On day three we held our WPC tournament early in the morning so it did not conflict with the UPC taping. We had about 50 women playing and it was a great event. WPC tournaments are always good. It doesn’t matter whether we have 9 women or 100. The attitude is always the same. We love to play and laugh and just have a good time. My play at that one reflected the same as all the other tournaments. Eh.

The taping went very well. The diversity on the table was the first thing that caught my eye. The seven women all had different looks, different playing styles and very different backgrounds. It has always been the bond between women players that gets me. I am amazed at how very little we seem to have in common but come together to play and support each other. That might be the single biggest difference between the way men and women play. I don’t care if a woman gave me the worst beat ever. I will still support her efforts in poker and in the rest of her life. And most that I have met feel the same as I do. It was indicated by the tournament staff that they heard horror stories about women’s events. That woman bitch more and play less. The compliments that we got from that same staff really hit home. There are always going to be some who will grumble and criticize regardless. But I heard more complaining from the men at the cash tables and the surrounding tournaments than I ever heard at a women’s only event. Honestly, we just want to play.

My last day in Vegas I played some poker in the morning but spent most of my day with a few meetings and relaxing with the friends I have made.

Most of this trip will remain in Vegas. I don’t think I could even start to explain the laughter and the excitement of my very first visit to Vegas. I realized how strong the friendships I have made through poker have become so these times will stay in my memory for a long time. And no matter how many times I go back in the future nothing can compare to this trip because “We go this way but once.”

2007-02-03T23:03:00.000-05:00

Vegas Baby!!

It has finally happened; Woman Poker Player is sponsoring our very first live tournament in conjuction with the Ultimate Poker Challenge . So off I am to Vegas in less than a week. I cannot believe that it is here already. It seems like yesterday I was debating on whether or not I should go and all of a sudden its here!!! This will be my first trip to Vegas and I am looking forward to meeting the group from WPC as well as all the other women who are coming out to play!!

The big question is....what am I going to pack? I've started, well kind of. I have the basics packed like toothbrush and hair stuff. But I haven't even begun the parade of the closet yet. I tend to be a bit of a pain in the butt when it comes to packing. I can easily pick out what I NEED to wear but what I will WANT to wear when I am there is another story. If I were just playing poker and hanging out with the girls it would be pretty easy. But we've got a few meetings set up on the strip and a trip to Hold 'em radio planned so I need dressier clothes than I would just play poker in.

Well...........off to pack!!

2007-02-03T08:24:00.000-05:00

Women's Poker Night
The Book

A while ago Maryann was approached by a publisher to put together a book of stories by women who play poker. They were looking for stories from some of the professionals as well as some amatuers that would center around poker but not necessarily be a poker "guide" of strategies and what is in the mainstream for poker books. It was a great opportunity for her and naturally she accepted.

I was working like crazy at that time. The hours I put in at my other job ranged from 50-60 hours per week. Plus home plus kids. She suggested that if I had the time she would love to include me but she understood that the demands on my time were very heavy. I told her that if she ran into a jam to let me know and I would try here and there to at least start something. She eventually called in a harried state and told me two of the authors had to back out due to other commitments. We crammed names like crazy looking for someone who could come up with something respectable in very little time. The publisher wanted the first draft with in the next two days.

I told her to give me over night and I would see if I could come up with anything that resembled a story about women in poker. Anyone who writes for a living can attest to the fact that sometimes writing is very easy and the ideas just come....other times it can be a nightmare especially when it comes to crunch time. Your mind freezes and all the ideas you had rushing around your head just seem to vanish. It seems that your mind sees "deadline" and the imagination runs for the hills.

My first thought was to write about Womens Poker Club. I have had several live meetings with many of the members . The group of us could play and talk strategies and analysis and the state of the poker world for hours....and believe me we have. There are a million stories in those live meetings. But, someone had already written about the club and what it means to play live for the first time etc... There was no way the publisher would allow more than one. It would be overkill no matter how great the group is.

Alot of times if I have a block of any sort when I write. I just start writing. I write ideas about everything related to the subject. It might be one sentence about one thing and two about another. I just type and hope that something in there sparks. All of a sudden I realized that not only had I produced the amount of words that they wanted per chapter but it made sense. And on top of that, I was in time for the deadline! Which Maryann can tell you almost NEVER happens.

Off the chapter went to the publisher. I didn't give it much thought after that. Between WPC, Woman Poker Player and all the other fun stuff in between I lost sight of it I guess. UNTIL the advanced copy arrived at my door. I went crazy when it came. I am not only published in a Magazine, I am published in a real book! By my own thinking this makes me a real author! Me! I never thought that I would ever do anything of significance that would be grouped with such accomplished poker authors like Amy Calestri and Barbar Connors. I have the book sitting on my desk and every time I look at it I have to pinch myself to make sure that it is real!

The most unbelievable thing is that the day of release Women's Poker Night was sold out on Amazon. It is already set for reprint. So not only am I a published author, people are reading it! The feed back so far has been great! Anyone looking to order can go to the links section of my blog and order from Amazon. It can also be found in book stores across the U.S.

2007-02-01T23:52:00.000-05:00

Welcome to My Blog

Hello, welcome to Zupko's Life! I am just getting started in this so please be patient with me. I am not sure of all the ins and outs of blogging yet but I'm sure that I will get the hang of it eventually. I hope you enjoy it!

About Me:
I'll start with a little bit about me. Im a wife and mother of two boys (18 and 15) and one girl (6 going on 19). I work for a small local store where I am considered some type of management. I say "some type" because there is a manager there and an assistant manager but I still run my own departments and still have the same responsibilities but in the end I dont have to listen to any guff from corporate. I love my job on most days but really wish the hours were different and the pay was a lot more. Im sure during course of this blog you will hear more about my job and I am sure more about my family. It might not be all poker but the majority of women who play poker also face the same challenges of balancing career, family and poker every day. Pretending it does not exist does more harm than good.

My real job as a writer is much more exciting and definitely much more glamorous. Well, I think so anyway. I write for Woman Poker Player Magazine as a staff writer. I do most of the cover interviews and occassionally smaller articles. How much I write depends greatly on how much time I have. Finding Woman Poker Player Magazine has been just an amazing experience. I have been able to talk to and meet people that I never dreamed of talking to. Watching players like Annie Duke, Daniel Negraneau and Liz Lieu is one thing...actually getting the chance to talk to them in depth is quite another. The chance to work with the likes of Barbara Enright is what dreams are made of and thanks to Maryann Morrison, I get to live that dream.

Some of my favorite places on the internet:
Womens Poker Club Sorry guys this is just a site for the women! A great place to meet and talk with women of all walks of life that have one common passion...poker! My name there is zupko2001. I am a moderator there so if you have any questions or comments be sure to let me know.

Woman Poker Player Magazine A magazine well worth reading for both men and women players!